"Will you allow us, sir," said one of the deputation, "to dig our own graves?"
"Certainly, gentlemen," said Mr. Clark, "you are most welcome; and the sooner the better!"
Escaping Punishment
An active-looking boy, aged about twelve years, was brought up before Provost Baker, at the Rutherglen Burgh Court, charged with breaking into gardens and stealing fruit therefrom. The charge having been substantiated, the magistrate, addressing the juvenile offender, said in his gravest manner: "If you had a garden, and pilfering boys were to break into and steal your property, in what way would you like to have them punished?"
"Aweel, sir," replied the prisoner, "I think I would let them awa' for first time."
It is needless to add that the worthy provost was mollified, and that the little fellow was dismissed with an admonition.
Passing Remarks
"There she goes," sneered an Englishman, as a Highlander marched past in his tartans at a fair.
"There she lies," retorted Duncan, as he knocked the scorner down at a blow.