A Lesson in Manners
William Martin was at one time a book auctioneer in Edinburgh. He was no great scholar, and occasionally made some humorous blunders during the exercise of his vocation. One night he made a clumsy attempt to unravel the title of a French book. A young dandy, wishing to have the laugh at Martin's expense, asked him to read the title again, as he did not quite understand him.
"Oh!" said Martin, "it's something about manners, and that's what neither you nor me has ower muckle o'."
A Magnanimous Cobbler
At a certain country election of a member of Parliament in the Highlands, the popular candidate waited on a shoemaker to solicit his vote.
"Get out of my house, sir," said the shoemaker; and the gentleman was forced to retire accordingly. The cobbler, however, followed him and called him back, saying, "You turned me off from your estate, sir, and I was determined to turn you out of my house; but for all that, I'll give you my vote."
How Greyhounds are Produced
At a certain mansion, notorious for its scanty fare, a gentleman was inquiring of the gardener about a dog which he had given to the laird some time before. The gardener showed him a lank greyhound, on which the gentleman said: "No, no; the dog I gave your master was a mastiff, not a greyhound"; to which the gardener quietly answered:
"Indeed, sir, ony dog would soon be turned into a greyhound if it stoppit lang here."