A Test of Literary Appreciation
Dr. Ranken, of Glasgow, wrote a very ponderous History of France. Wishing to learn how it was appreciated by the public, he went to Stirling's Library incognito, and inquired "if Dr. Ranken's History of France was in?"
Mr. Peat, the caustic librarian, curtly replied: "In! it never was out!"
Ornithology
"Pray, Lord Robertson," said a lady to that eminent lawyer at a party, "can you tell me what sort of a bird the bul-bul is?"
"I suppose, ma'am," replied the humorous judge, "it is the male of the coo-coo."
A Practical View of Matrimony
"Fat's this I hear ye're gaun to dee, Jeannie," said an Aberdeen lass to another young woman.
"Weel, Maggie, lass, I'm just gaun to marry that farm ower by there, and live wi' the bit mannie on't."
Winning the Race Instead of the Battle