"I suppose they'll be married on twa sisters, then," replied he; "and I think it's just the auld story ower again—freen's 'gree best separate."
A Family Likeness
Some soldiers, quartered in a country village, when they met at the roll-call were asking one another what kind of quarters they had got; one of them said he had very good quarters, but the strangest landlady ever he saw—she always took him off. A comrade said he would go along with him and would take her off. He went and offered to shake hands with her, saying, "How are you, Elspa?"
"Indeed, sir," said she, "ye hae the better o' me; I dinna ken ye."
"Dear me, Elspa," replied the soldier, "d'ye no ken me? I'm the devil's sister's son."
"Dear, save us!" quoth the old wife, looking him broadly in the face; "'od man, but ye're like your uncle!"
"Unco' Modest"
A Scottish witness in the House of Lords once gave in a rather dictatorial style his notions as to the failings in the character of Irishmen and Englishmen.
He was allowed to say his say, and when out of breath Lord Lucan asked him to oblige the committee with his ideas relative to Scotch character.
"Aweel, my laird, they're just on the contrary, unco' modest and"—the rest of the sentence was drowned in uproarious merriment.