The following epitaph on this celebrated Bacchanalian plainly indicates that he was held in no great estimation among his neighbors:
"Beneath this stane lies auld Garscad,
Wha lived a neighbor very bad;
Now, how he finds and how he fares,
The deil ane kens, and deil ane cares."
Not Surprised
Benjamin Greig, one of the last specimens of tie-wig and powder gentry, and a rich old curmudgeon to boot, one day entered the shop of Mr. Walker—better known, however, by the nickname of "Sugar Jock"—and accosting him, said, "Are you no' muckle astonished to hear that Mr. L—— has left £20,000?"
"Weel, Mr. Greig," replied "Sugar," "I wad hae been mair astonished to hear that he had ta'en it wi' him."
Greig gave a grunt and left the shop.
The Best Crap
A baby was out with its nurse, who walked it up and down a garden.
"Is't a laddie or a lassie, Jess?" asked the gardener.