"If you're the mester of the hoose,
It's I'm the mistress o't;
An' I ken best what's in the hoose—
Sae I tell ye, it was a rat."
"Weel, weel, guidwife, gae mak' the brose,
An' ca' it what ye please."
So up she rose and mad' the brose,
While John sat toastin' his taes.
They supit, and supit, and supit the brose,
And aye their lips played smack;
They supit, and supit, and supit the brose,
Till their lugs began to crack.
"Sic fules we were to fa' out, guidwife,
About a moose"—"A what?
It's a lee ye tell, an' I say again,
It wasna a moose, 'twas a rat."
"Wad ye ca' me a leear to my very face?
My faith, but ye craw crouse!
I tell you, Tib, I never will bear 't—"
"'Twas a moose"—"'Twas a rat"—"'Twas a moose."
Wi' that she struck him ower the pow—
"Ye dour auld doit, tak' that—
Gae to your bed, ye canker'd sumph—
'Twas a rat."—"'Twas a moose!"—"'Twas a rat!"
She sent the brose caup at his heels
As he hirpled ben the hoose;
Yet he shoved out his head, as he steekit the door,
And cried, "'Twas a moose, 'twas a moose!"
But when the carle fell asleep
She paid him back for that,
And roared into his sleepin' lug,
"'Twas a rat, 'twas a rat, 'twas a RAT!"
The devil be wi' me if I think
It was a beast, at all—
Next morning, when she swepit the fluir,
She found wee Johnnie's ball!
A Ready Student