Pulpit Aids
Young Minister: "I don't think I need put on the gown, John; it's only an encumbrance."
Beadle: "Ay, sir; it makes ye mair impressive—an' ye need it a', sir, ye need it a'."
Choosing a Minister
The parish kirk of Driechtor had been rather unfortunate in its ministers, two of them having gone off in a decline within a twelvemonth of their appointment, and now, after hearing a number of candidates for the vacancy, the members were looking forward with keen interest to the meeting at which the election takes place.
"Weel, Marget," asked one female parishioner of another, as they foregathered on the road one day, "wha are you gaun to vote for?"
"I'm just thinkin' I'll vote for nane o' them. I'm no muckle o' a judge, an' it'll be the safest plan," was Marget's sagacious reply.
"Toots, woman, if that's the way o't, vote wi' me."
"An' hoo are you gaun to vote?"