On his return the minister said: "Well, John, have you succeeded?"
"Yes, sir," replied John; "I've brocht a gill. That'll be a glass for the forenoon, and anither for the afternoon."
"Old Bags"
Lord Eldon, who was well known by the nick-name "Old Bags," in one of his sporting excursions, unexpectedly came across a person who was sporting over his land without leave. His lordship inquired if the stranger was aware he was trespassing, or if he knew to whom the estate belonged? "What's that to do with you?" was the reply. "I suppose you are one of Old Bags' keepers." "No," replied his lordship, "I am Old Bags himself."
A Poem for the Future
The late Dr. Jamieson, the Scottish lexicographer, was vain of his literary reputation, and, like many others who knew not where their great strength lies, thought himself gifted with a kind of intellectual able-to-do-everything. The doctor published a poem, entitled "Eternity."
This poem became the subject of conversational remark, soon after publication, at a party where the doctor was present, and a lady was asked her opinion of it. "It's a bonny poem," said she, "and it's weel named Eternity, for it will ne'er be read in time."
A Badly Arranged Prayer
A Presbyterian minister in the reign of King William III, performing public worship in the Tron Church at Edinburgh, used this remarkable expression in his prayer: "Lord, have mercy upon all fools and idiots, and particularly upon the Town Council of Edinburgh." [[9]]
Simplicity of a Collier's Wife