“As you permit me to make a choice between ‘the place below’ and your aunt’s ball, I’ll choose the latter. Set me down your man! I’ll pick you up at eight, ‘and no mistake.’”
Punctual to the hour, I called on the appointed night. Flora was true as a clock, and deposited her person and effects safely in the dog-cart. My horses were fast steppers; and in an hour and sixteen minutes, we reached my aunt Packer’s. I am thus particular about time, for I backed myself against it, three to one—in kisses. Certainly I gave Flora sporting odds. She lost, as a gentlewoman should lose, came like a trump “to book,” and met her engagements honourably.
As we approached “my Aunt Packer’s” domicile, we found that “more hibernico” the parish had risen “en masse,” to have a peep at the festive throng. With some difficulty I took my drag pretty safely through the crowd, removing only one toe in the transit—and having deposited Miss Flora in the hall, while she “regulated her curls, and repaired damages” generally, I fought my way to the assistance of my servant, who was making vain but desperate efforts to obtain standing room for the cattle in certain ruinous buildings denominated stables, which were crammed with a pleasing variety of quadrupeds; but by bribing one car-driver, and bullying another, who had spilled me the night before into a wet ditch, I induced them to remove their prads to some place else, and thus make room for mine. This exploit having been achieved, I entered “the merrie hall,” to claim my partner, who had intimated that she should await there my return, and honour me by making her grand entré on my arm.
She was ready for action when I reappeared; and as we passed through the mob of “tinints’ daughters,” who choaked the hall and staircase, nothing could be more complimentary than the remarks—That’s Miss Flora herself,” observed a redshank. * “Isn’t she the girl, after all?”
* Redshank—a term applied in the kingdom of Connaught to
young ladies who dispense with shoes and stockings.
“And that’s her sweetheart, I suppose, beside her.—Ogh! but they’ll make a cliver couple,” rejoined a second.
“Is the match all settled?” inquired an elderly gentlewoman. “It’s all as one, and just as sure as if the priest had on the vestment,” was the reply.
To me, of course, these remarks were particularly flattering; but still to the matrimonial conclusion, I did not respond “Amen!”
On ascending to the state apartment we found the company formally collected; and in the doorway observed a little man, very corpulent, and blessed with an efflorescent nose that would have brought eternal disgrace upon a water-drinker. He was dressed in a green coat with brass buttons, a speckled vest, and inexpressibles that once had been nankeen. I particularly noticed the tie of his white neckcloth. The bow was voluminous, and the muslin that encircled his throat affixed so loosely, that it was apparent the wearer had determined that his powers of deglutition should receive no interruption.
“That’s Uncle Dick,” observed my fair companion; “no wonder that Aunty’s so proud of her bargain.”