“There never was a Jack, without a Jill,” I said. I don’t know why I said it; it just came out.
“There never was a Jack who could not find his Jill—though sometimes, alas! too late.”
“I once found a friend,” he ventured. “We won.”
We found Mumsie in the hall; I kissed her and ran to my room; I was unsettled. In my ears sounded the sleigh bells. My conscience was troubling me; perhaps it was my self-respect, the spirit of my forefathers. Like a ghost of the past my grandfather’s presence was with me, reproving me, admonishing me, cherishing me.
I dressed for dinner and gained mastery of myself. I was happy, laughed to myself, was singing softly a bit of a song, and perfumed my hair and neck. I was grasping for a new foothold, struggling to find myself. My spirits were so unsettled, so boisterous. Mr. Bang looked puzzled and watched me intently. Evidently he had expected other things. He, poor fool, claims to read women like a book; and yet, while I am false to his friendship, in its every phase, he this afternoon bared his heart to me, as one could only do to a trusted and valued friend.
December 30th.
My furs arrived to-day. They are lovely. It was so good of Uncle to have them made up for me and I feel I am able to carry them off well. Went shopping in the morning, walked with Mumsie in the afternoon, and to the Skating Club with Mr. Bang in the evening. As a precaution I asked Ethel Bassett to call for me, so she shared the burden of Mr. Bang. I kept in a corner practising.
December 31st.
How can I compose myself sufficiently to record all that befell me, all I experienced, and the world I was introduced to at Mrs. Lien’s ball? My hand trembles as I take up my pen. As I was yesterday a different person from what I was when first I entered Uncle’s home, so to-day I am different from what I was a few short hours ago. I know now that another world exists of which previously I had not even dreamed. I have found myself overflowing with emotion, pulsating, trembling under the spell of curious impulses. Oh! what a strange being am I!
Ethel Bassett called for me in a cab and came into the hall to say Good-evening to Mumsie and Uncle.