When a person meets one of his kin, he uses a form of greeting which depends on the nature of the relationship. Most of these greetings consist of some form of the word iti or itvi, which was said to mean “blessing” or “bless,” together with the kinship term.
A man would greet an elder brother or anyone whom he would call anna by the word “tioñ,” cut very short so as to sound like a single syllable. This is a corruption of iti anna. A person greets a younger brother or one whom he would call enda by uttering his name followed by the word ers, as in “Sakari ers,” “Pakhwar ers.” A father is greeted as itiai, a mother as itiava. An elder sister as itiakka; a younger sister as itvena, and this latter form is used for any female relative younger than the speaker. It is the duty of younger female relatives to perform the kalmelpudithti salutation, and as soon as a man says itvena, the woman at once bows down and places her head beneath the raised foot of the man, helping him to raise it at the same time.
A mother’s brother or father-in law (mun) is greeted by itimoñ and a mumi is greeted by itimimia, but so slurred as to be hardly recognisable. The grandfather and grandmother are greeted in the words itin pia and itin piava.
Whenever a new Toda came to join people who were with me, there would be a chorus of greetings, and the newcomer would look round carefully to see who was present, giving to each his proper salutation and obviously taking the greatest care that no one was overlooked. Since the relationship of brother is the most frequent, the greetings heard most often on these occasions were “tioñ” and “… ers.”
The regulation of salutation by kinship applies also to [[498]]the salutation of the dead. When the body first reaches the funeral place it is saluted by all present, and in the case of kin, the mode of salutation varies with the bond of kinship. Those related to the deceased as in, av, pian, piav, mun, mumi, an, or akkan, bow down at the head of the corpse and touch the body with their foreheads, while all those whom the deceased would have called enda or ena bow down at the feet. The place saluted by those who are not kin is determined by age, but in the case of kin, the bond of kinship is more important than the age, so that the former condition determines the mode of salutation. Thus at the funeral of Kiuneimi (3), Kòdrner (7) saluted at the head of the dead woman. He was the younger, but was her mun owing to the fact that Kiuneimi’s step-mother Kureimi, was a Kars woman whom Kòdrner called sister.
The Duties of Kin
The funeral ceremonies provide the greatest number of examples of kinship duties, the parts taken by many of the mourners being determined largely by their bonds of kinship to the deceased. The place of chief mourner is taken by the brother or son of a dead man, by the husband of a dead woman, and by the father of a dead child, though, at the funeral of a girl, the husband plays the most important rôle.
Various duties fall to relatives of the same clan or of the same family of the clan. The earth-throwing at the funeral of a male, the smearing of butter on the buffalo, lighting the pyre at the first funeral and the two fires at the azaramkedr, and ringing the bell at the final scene, are all performed by near relatives of the same clan and family as the deceased.
Cutting off a lock of hair and mixing food are acts performed by the chief mourner, who is of the same clan as the deceased, whether brother, son, husband, or father.