If a man has not been married in childhood he may undertake the arrangement of his marriage himself, and visit the parents of the girl unaccompanied by his father; and in this case the girl may at once join her husband if she is old enough.
From the time of the child-marriage the boy has to give a tadrp twice a year until the girl is ten years old, when its place is taken by a putkuli. The tadrp which is given at first is very small, worth perhaps only four annas, but as the girl [[503]]becomes older it is expected that the garment shall become larger and more valuable.
If any member of the girl’s family should die it is expected that the boy’s family shall on each occasion give a sum of eight annas or a rupee. This gift is called tinkanik panm ûtpimi, or “we give a piece of money to the purse.”
Formerly the boy’s family had also to contribute one of the buffaloes killed at the funeral, but this custom is now obsolete. The contribution of buffaloes and money from the boy to his parents-in-law is called pödri. The boy has to take part in a ceremony at the funeral in which a cloth is laid on the dead body, and with this ceremony there is associated a further gift of one rupee, paid to the relatives of the dead person by the family of the boy who has married into the family of the deceased (see p. [358]).
Certain ceremonies are performed shortly before the girl reaches the age of puberty. One is called putkuli tâzâr utiti, or “mantle over he puts,” in which a man belonging to the Tartharol if the girl is Teivali, and to the Teivaliol if she is Tarthar, comes in the day-time to the village of the girl and lying down beside her puts his mantle over her so that it covers both and remains there for a few minutes.
Fourteen or fifteen days later a man of strong physique, who may belong to either division and to any clan, except that of the girl, comes and stays in the village for one night and has intercourse with the girl. This must take place before puberty, and it seemed that there were few things regarded as more disgraceful than that this ceremony should be delayed till after this period. It might be a subject of reproach and abuse for the remainder of the woman’s life, and it was even said that men might refuse to marry her if this ceremony had not been performed at the proper time.
It is usually some years later, when the girl is about fifteen or sixteen, that she joins her husband and goes to live with him at his village. The parents of the husband announce that they will fetch the girl on a certain day, which must be one of two or three days of the week,[1] different for each clan. The husband, accompanied by his father and a male [[504]]relative of the same clan, goes to the village of the girl, and the three are feasted with rice and jaggery. The husband puts five rupees into the pocket of the girl’s mantle and then takes her home. There is no ceremony of any kind, not even the salutation such as was performed at the original ceremony.
If the youth does not wish to live with the girl when the time arrives, he may annul the marriage by giving one buffalo as a fine (kwadr) to the girl’s parents; but, on the other hand, the parents of the girl have to return as many buffaloes as he may have given as pödri at funeral ceremonies.
If the girl refuses to join her husband the fine is heavier, and at the present time usually amounts to five or ten buffaloes, the number being settled by a council according to the circumstances of the people. The girl’s family must also return any buffaloes given as pödri. According to Harkness the fines were in his day much heavier; three buffaloes when the man annulled the marriage, and as many as fifty when this was done by the woman (see p. [538]), and the Todas acknowledge that the fine for refusing to fulfil the marriage contract is now lighter than it used to be.
When a girl goes to join her husband she may be given clothing or ornaments by her parents or brothers, and their gifts are known as adrparn or dowry, but I could not learn that there were any definite regulations prescribing what should be given. It seemed also that occasionally buffaloes might be given as adrparn.