ET TVVM BENERABILEM VVLTVM FVAT VIDERE SOPORE
CONIVNX ALBANAQVE MIHI SEMPER CASTA PVDICA
RELICTVM ME TVO GREMIO QVEROR
QVOD MIHI SANCTVM TE DEDERAT DIVINITVS AVCTOR.
“This grief will always weigh upon me. May it be granted me to behold in sleep your revered countenance. My wife Albana, always chaste and modest. I grieve over the loss of your support, whom our divine author had given to me as a sacred (boon.)”
In the following a disconsolate husband mourns the wife of his youth with the pleasing illusion that such love as theirs the world had never known before: DOMNINAE INNOCENTISSIMAE ET DVLCISSIMAE CONIVGI QVAE VIXIT ANN · XVI · M · IIII · ET FVIT MARITATA · ANN DVOBVS · M · IIII · D · VIIII CVM QVA NON LICVIT FVISSE PROPTER CAVSAS PEREGRINATIONIS NISI · MENSIB · VI · QVO · TEMPORE · VT EGO SENSI ET EXHIBVI AMOREM MEVM MVLLIS VALII (sic) SIC DELIXERVNT—“To Domnina, my most guileless and sweet wife, who lived sixteen years and four months, and was married two years, four months, and nine days; with whom I was not able to live on account of my travelling more than six months: during this period as I felt and showed my affection no others ever loved.”[756]
Similar expressions of affection are applied by bereaved wives to their deceased husbands. In the following a widowed heart dwells with fond complacency on the thought that no rankling recollection of estranged regard embitters her remembrance of the lost: AGRIPPINA FECIT · DVLCISSIMO SVO MARITO CVM QVEM VIXIT SINE LESIONE ANIMI · ANNOS III ET M · X.—“Agrippina made this to her very sweet husband, with whom she lived, without jarring, three years and ten months.” Of similar import is this also: DIGNO MERITOQVE IVGALI MEO TETTIO FILICISSIMO DIACONO · MARCIA DECENTIA DVLCISSIMO MIHI DIEM DEPOSITIONIS LAPIDEMQVE DESCRIPSI · MERITO VIXIT ANNVS NON MINVS LXX—“To my husband, Tettius Felicissimus, worthy and deserving, a deacon. I, Marcia Decentia, inscribed this stone to him (who was) most sweet to me, on the day of his burial. He lived in honour not less than seventy years.”
Similar language of mingled love and grief occurs in pagan inscriptions, but without the chastening influence of Christian resignation. The domestic life of the Romans, especially in the days of republican simplicity, seems to have been remarkably free from discord or strife. Thus we find frequent record of over half a century passed in marriage, SINE IVRGIO, SINE AEMVLATIONE, SINE DISSIDIO, SINE QVERELA—“Without contention, without emulation, without dissension, without strife.” With ceaseless iteration the virtues of the deceased are lovingly recorded, as in the examples which follow: CONIVGEM FIDELISSIMAM—“Most faithful wife;” OPTIMA DOMINA SANCTISSIMA—“Best and most revered lady;” MARITAE PIISSIMAE DVLCISSIMAE RARISSIMAE—“To a most pious and sweet wife of rarest excellence;” OPTIMA ET PVLCHERRIMA LANIFICA PIA PVDICA CASTA DOMESEDA—“Best and most beautiful, a spinner of wool, pious, modest, chaste, home-abiding;” VXORI OBSEQVENTISSIMAE—“To a most obedient (or obsequious) wife;” T. FL. CAPITO CONIVGI CASTISSIMAE PIISSIMAE ET DE SE OPTIME MERITAE DE QVA NVLLVM DOLOREM NISI ACERBISSIMAE MORTIS EIVS ACCEPERAT—“Titus Flavius Capito, to his most chaste and pious wife, deserving well of him, from whom he received no cause of grief, except that of her most bitter death;” TEMPIVS HERMEROS CONIVGI CARISSIMAE ... CVIVS DESIDERIO IVRATVS EST SE POST EAM VXOREM NON HABITVRVM—“Tempius Hermeros, to his most dear spouse, on account of his love for whom he swore that he would have no other wife.” Once we meet the strange remark by a husband of his wife, CVIVS IN DIE MORTIS GRATIAS MAXIMAS EGI APVD DEOS ET APVD HOMINES—“On the day of whose death I gave the greatest thanks to gods and men.” It was probably on account of her release from suffering.
In the accompanying epitaph a bereaved widow laments her irreparable loss: CONIVGI DESIDERATISSIMO ... NVNC NEQVE TE VIDEO NEC AMOR SATIATVR AMANTIS ET CONIVX MISERA FINEM DEPOSCO DOLORI—“To my most deeply regretted husband.... For neither do I now see thee, nor is the affection of thy loving spouse satisfied; and I, a miserable wife, implore an end of my sorrow.”
Such examples of conjugal affection recall to mind the immortal love of Alcestis in the Greek myth, dying for her bosom’s lord; and of Arria, in Roman story, refusing to survive her husband, and having plunged the dagger into her own breast, with dying smile exclaiming, Pæte, non dolet—“It hurts not, my Pætus.”[757]