And all the Canoodle-Dummers
They copied his rolling walk,
His method of draining rummers,
His emblematical talk.
For his dress and his graceful breeding,
His delicate taste in rum,
And his nautical way, were the talk of the day
In the Court of Canoodle-Dum.
Calamity Pop most wisely
Determined in everything
To model his Court precisely
On that of the English King;
And ordered that every lady
And every lady’s lord
Should masticate jacky (a kind of tobaccy),
And scatter its juice abroad.
They signified wonder roundly
At any astounding yarn,
By darning their dear eyes roundly
(’T was all they had to darn).
They “hoisted their slacks,” adjusting
Garments of plantain-leaves
With nautical twitches (as if they wore breeches,
Instead of a dress like Eve’s!)
They shivered their timbers proudly,
At a phantom forelock dragged,
And called for a hornpipe loudly
Whenever amusement flagged.
“Hum! Golly! him Pop resemble,
Him Britisher sov’reign, hum!
Calamity Pop von Peppermint Drop,
De King of Canoodle-Dum!”
The mariner’s lively “Hollo!”
Enlivened Canoodle’s plain
(For blessings unnumbered follow
In Civilization’s train).
But Fortune, who loves a bathos,
A terrible ending planned,
For Admiral D. Chickabiddy, C.B.,
Placed foot on Canoodle land!
That rebel, he seized King Gowler,
He threatened his royal brains,
And put him aboard the Howler,
And fastened him down with chains.
The Howler she weighed her anchor,
With Frederick nicely nailed,
And off to the North with William the Fourth
These horrible pirates sailed.
Calamity said (with folly),
“Hum! nebber want him again—
Him civilize all of us, golly!
Calamity suck him brain!”
The people, however, were pained when
They saw him aboard his ship,
But none of them wept for their Freddy, except
Hum Pickety Wimple Tip.
THE MARTINET.
Some time ago, in simple verse
I sang the story true
Of Captain Reece, the Mantelpiece,
And all her happy crew.
I showed how any captain may
Attach his men to him,
If he but heeds their smallest needs,
And studies every whim.