I see the ghost of my first cigar,
Of the thence-arising family jar—
Of my maiden brief (I was at the Bar,
And I called the Judge “Your wushup!”)
Of reckless days and reckless nights,
With wrenched-off knockers, extinguished lights,
Unholy songs and tipsy fights,
Which I strove in vain to hush up.
Ghosts of fraudulent joint-stock banks,
Ghosts of “copy, declined with thanks,”
Of novels returned in endless ranks,
And thousands more, I suffer.
The only line to fitly grace
My humble tomb, when I’ve run my race,
Is, “Reader, this is the resting-place
Of an unsuccessful duffer.”
I’ve fought them all, these ghosts of mine,
But the weapons I’ve used are sighs and brine,
And now that I’m nearly forty-nine,
Old age is my chiefest bogy;
For my hair is thinning away at the crown,
And the silver fights with the worn-out brown;
And a general verdict sets me down
As an irreclaimable fogy.
FOOTNOTES
[1] Apart from a few illustrations on the title page the 140 illustrations have not yet been scanned for this transcription. They will appear in due time.—DP.
[44] A version of this ballad is published as a Song, by Mr. Jeffreys, Soho Square.
[59] This ballad is published as a Song, under the title “If,” by Messrs. Cramer and Co.
[156a] “Go with me to a Notary—seal me there
Your single bond.”—Merchant of Venice, Act I., sc. 3.
[156b] “And there shall she, at Friar Lawrence’ cell,
Be shrived and married.”—Romeo and Juliet, Act II., sc. 4.
[156c] “And give the fasting horses provender.”—Henry the Fifth, Act IV., sc. 2.