“Of Shyness here’s a lump—
A hole for Animosity—
And like my fist his bump
Of Impecuniosity.
“Just here the bump appears
Of Innocent Hilarity,
And just behind his ears
Are Faith, and Hope, and Charity.
“He of true Christian ways
As bright example sent us is—
This maxim he obeys,
‘Sorte tuâ contentus sis.’
“There, let him go his ways,
He needs no stern admonishing.”
The Bart., in blank amaze,
Exclaimed, “This is astonishing!
“I must have made a mull,
This matter I’ve been blind in it:
Examine, please, my skull,
And tell me what you find in it.”
That Crusher looked, and said,
With unimpaired urbanity,
“Sir Herbert, you’ve a head
That teems with inhumanity.
“Here’s Murder, Envy, Strife
(Propensity to kill any),
And Lies as large as life,
And heaps of Social Villany.
“Here’s Love of Bran-New Clothes,
Embezzling—Arson—Deism—
A taste for Slang and Oaths,
And Fraudulent Trusteeism.
“Here’s Love of Groundless Charge—
Here’s Malice, too, and Trickery,
Unusually large
Your bump of Pocket-Pickery—”
“Stop!” said the Bart., “my cup
Is full—I’m worse than him in all;
Policeman, take me up—
No doubt I am some criminal!”