Ch. But, as you very properly said just now, it was a mere artifice—we didn’t mean anything. It would be monstrous to regard that as a marriage. Damme, Belvawney, it would be immoral!
Bel. I may deplore the state of the law, but I cannot stand tamely by and see it deliberately violated before my eyes.
Ch. (wildly). But, Belvawney, my dear friend, reflect; everything is prepared for my marriage, at a great expense. I love Minnie deeply, devotedly. She is the actual tree upon which the fruit of my heart is growing. There’s no mistake about it. She is my own To Come. I love her madly—rapturously. (Going on his knees to Belvawney.) I have prepared a wedding breakfast at a great expense to do her honour. I have ordered four flys for the wedding party. I have taken two second-class Cook’s tourists’ tickets for Ilfracombe, Devon, Exeter, Cornwall, Westward Ho! and Bideford Bay. The whole thing has cost me some twenty or twenty-five pounds, and all this will be wasted—utterly wasted—if you interfere. Oh, Belvawney, dear Belvawney, let the recollection of our long and dear friendship operate to prevent your shipwrecking my future life. (Sobbing hysterically.)
Bel. I have a duty to do. I must do it.
Ch. But reflect, dear Belvawney; if I am married to Miss Treherne, you lose your income as much as if I married Minnie Symperson.
Bel. No doubt, if you could prove your marriage to Miss Treherne. But you can’t—— (With melodramatic intensity.)
Ch. Those eyes!
Bel. You don’t know where she is—— (With fiendish exultation.)
Ch. Oh, those eyes!
Bel. The cottage has been pulled down, and the cottagers have emigrated to Patagonia——