Original Plays, Second Series

by W. S. Gilbert

Dick. I’m ugly too, ain’t I?

But. You are certainly plain.

Dick. And I’m three-cornered too, ain’t I?

But. You are rather triangular.

Dick. Ha! ha! That’s it. I’m ugly, and they hate me for it; for you all hate me, don’t you?

Boat. (crossing). Well, Dick, we wouldn’t go for to hurt any fellow-creature’s feelings, but you can’t expect a chap with such a name as Dick Deadeye to be a popular character—now, can you?

Dick. No.

Boat. It’s asking too much, ain’t it?

Dick. It is. From such a face and form as mine the noblest sentiments sound like the black utterances of a depraved imagination. It is human nature—I am resigned.