The Bab Ballads, with Which Are Included Songs of a Savoyard

by W. S. Gilbert

Because his attorney has sent me a brief

(Said I to myself—said I!)

I'll never throw dust in a juryman's eyes

(Said I to myself—said I),

Or hoodwink a judge who is not over-wise

(Said I to myself—said I),

Or assume that the witnesses summoned in force

In Exchequer, Queen's Bench, Common Pleas, or Divorce,

Have perjured themselves as a matter of course

(Said I to myself—said I!)