The Bab Ballads, with Which Are Included Songs of a Savoyard

by W. S. Gilbert

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus,

I know the scientific names of beings animalculous.

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,

I am the very model of a modern Major-Gineral.

I know our mythic history—King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's,

I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox;

I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,

In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous.

I tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,