“Soft Tommy” and nice mutton chops,
I’ve chickens and conies and dainty polonies
And excellent peppermint drops.
Then buy of your Buttercup—dear Little Buttercup,
Sailors should never be shy—
So, buy of your Buttercup—poor Little Buttercup—
Come, of your Buttercup buy!
“Thank goodness, that’s over!” whispered the sailors to each other with an air of relief. You see, Little Buttercup always sang that song whenever she came on board, and after a few months people got tired of it. Besides not being really popular on account of her aggravating tongue, she sold for the most part things that the liberal Captain provided freely for his crew out of his own pocket-money. They had soup, fish, an entrée, a joint, an apple pudding, or a jam tart every day, besides eggs and ham for breakfast, muffins for tea, and as many scissors, pocket-knives, and cigars as they chose to ask for. So Little Buttercup was not even useful to them, and they only tolerated her because they were gallant British Tars who couldn’t be rude to a lady if they tried. In point of fact they had tried on several occasions to say rude and unpleasant things to ladies, but as they had invariably failed in the attempt they at last gave it up as hopeless, and determined to be quietly polite under all possible circumstances. So they asked her to sit down, and take a strawberry ice and a wafer, which she did rather sulkily as no one seemed to want any of the things she had to sell.
“Tell us a story, Little Buttercup,” said Bill Bobstay. Bill was a boatswain’s mate, who, besides being busily occupied in embroidering his name in red worsted on a canvas “nighty case,” generally took the lead in all the amusements of the dog-watch. “You can if you try, I’m sure, Miss.”
“You’re quite right,” said Little Buttercup; “I could tell you stories about yourselves which would make you all wish you had never been born. I know who takes sugar-plums to bed with him” (looking at one), “and who doesn’t say his prayers” (looking at another), “and who sucks his thumb in his hammock” (looking at the third), “and who makes ugly faces at his Captain when his back’s turned” (looking at a fourth), “and who does his front hair with patent curlers” (looking at a fifth), “and who puts raspberry jam into his messmates’ boots” (looking at a sixth).