March 8th.—I went up myself to-day to the head-quarters' camp, to look for letters and see our friend, but failed in both; but I breakfasted and had a long chat with that pleasantest of persons, Lugard, now Sir Edward, and while there I had a letter from Norman to say that Reginald had been appointed to do duty with my Horse. I can but think he is too young; but if he must see hard service so early, better with me than elsewhere. God grant it may be for his good. I am looking for the end with an eager longing for rest which I cannot control. Dear Sir Henry used to say I was ambitious, and I know I was proud and thirsty of success; but now all desires for the future settle down into the one thought of home.
March 9th.—I grieve that report should cause you fear and anxiety whenever there has been a fight, particularly as the chances are against my being in it. You should remember that our force extends now round three sides nearly of Lucknow. The extreme right of our position, or rather camps, being at least nine miles from the left; so that engagements occur at one part which those at the other never perhaps hear of till next day! This was the case with the Dilkoosha affair. The Chief passed our camp on the left, moved on some miles, and occupied "Dilkoosha" (a fine palace, three stories high), and the ground up to the banks of the Goomtee, almost without opposition. I was never within miles of him. Indeed, I have not been on horseback since the 25th, as I am forced to save myself for emergencies. If anything important occurs, be sure I will send a telegram somehow. I have written to Reginald, and sent him a copy of the General Order appointing him to do duty with my regiment. I have also got a Lieutenant Meecham, of the Madras army,—a great artist and good-looking fellow, and, what is much more to my purpose, a fine soldier I believe. I have also asked for young Blackburne, whom you may remember in the 20th Native Infantry at Peshawur,—a friend of Edward Loyd's. He is much "come out" since then. I do hope Hugh Gough will soon be well; I do ill without such a dashing fine fellow.
In the affair of the 25th we were leading, and took the guns,—i.e., we fairly captured one, and drove the enemy away from the other, and kept them at bay until the "train" came up and secured it. I was not altogether satisfied with my men in this part of the affair. They hesitated, and let me go ahead unsupported except by Nihal Singh; old Mahommed Reza Khan, and one or two others, with Gough, being near. The consequence was that the enemy concentrated their fire on our little party. However, the Europeans of the Military Train hesitated to do what I wanted my men to do, and they behaved very well immediately afterwards. There has been a great fuss about the matter; Sir Colin having taken great and very just offence at its being reported to him that the cavalry were "led" by Colonel ——, a staff-officer.... He got wounded, and then was officially reported to have "led the cavalry," whereas we had Brigadier Campbell (a capital officer), and Colonel Haggart, of the 7th Hussars, present, besides the officers commanding regiments, "quorum pars fui." Sir Colin denounced Colonel ——'s "leading" as "an insufferable impertinence," called me up, and asked me before them all, "Were you present with your regiment on the 25th?" and on my saying, "Yes," he cried out, "Now, look here; look at my friend Hodson here, does he look like a man that needs 'leading?' Is that a man likely to want 'leading?' I should like to see the fellow who'd presume to talk of 'leading' that man!" pointing to me, and so forth. I nearly went into convulsions; it was such a scene....
The Martinière was taken to-day without loss except poor Captain Peel, who, I grieve to say, is wounded.
March 10th.—The mail is come with my Majority. The brevet has given general dissatisfaction. Some of the double honors are marvellous; but it should be remembered that these promotions are given sponte suâ by the home authorities, no recommendations having gone from hence till lately. I am content myself, having no interest. It proves they perceive I have done something, or I should not have this beginning; and it is satisfactory to find that it is universally considered that I have been shabbily used. Better this by far than to have people lifting up their eyes and saying I had got too much! Inglis is justly rewarded, and some others. I dare say more will come with time. I hope devoutly that when Lucknow falls I shall be released. We shall know in a few days,—for even while I write Lucknow seems to be "falling" fast. Immense progress was made yesterday, with not more loss than some 18 or 20 wounded, and I hear to-day they are going ahead again. Pandy has quite given up fighting, except pot-shots under cover, and runs at the very sight of troops advancing. I stood on the top of the Dilkoosha palace yesterday, and watched the capture of as strong a position as men could wish for (which at Delhi would have cost us hundreds) without the enemy making a single struggle or firing a shot. At this rate Lucknow will soon be in our hands. We (of the cavalry) are kept on the qui vive watching the southern outlets from the town to prevent escape, and I expect to see Lucknow taken without being under fire again. Well, it must be confessed that I have had my share of the dangers of the war, and whether I receive honors or not, I have the testimony of my own conscience that I have done one man's work towards the restoration of our power in India.... I have been occupied to-day in trying to get the Victoria Cross for the two Goughs. Hugh certainly ought to have it.[70]
March 11th.—Just as I sit down to write comes an order to move our camp towards Alumbagh again; Jung Bahadoor having at last arrived with his army and taken up ground between me and the enemy.... If anything occurs, I will get Colonel Napier or Norman to send you a service telegram....
This was the last letter which my brother wrote. Having given directions to his Adjutant, Lieutenant Gough, he said he would ride on and look out a nice spot for their new camping-ground, and be back in time to march with them. On his way he heard firing, and riding forward, found that the Begum's Palace was to be attacked. He immediately rode to the place, and finding his friend Brigadier Napier directing the attack, said laughingly, "I am come to take care of you; you have no business to go to work without me to look after you." The assault was successful.[71] He entered the breach with General Napier and several others. In a few minutes they were separated in the mêlée, and General Napier saw nothing more of him till he was sent for to him "dangerously wounded." The surgeon of his regiment gives the following account:—
"We struck our tents and were saddled, waiting for him till it became so dark that we were forced to go without him, and reached our ground after sunset. I had gone to the post-office and was five minutes behind the regiment. When I came up, I found that Hodson's orderly had come in great haste, saying that his master had sent for me, but with no other message. He said that his master had been hit when advancing with the troops on the Begum's Kotee on foot.
"I mounted and rode off with him at once. From the darkness of the night and the difficulty of passing the Goorkah sentries, I did not get to Dilkooshah till 9 p. m. There no one knew where he was. I then went on to the artillery mess and learnt that he was in Banks's House which I reached about 10 p. m. I found him in a dooly and Dr. Sutherland with him, whom I at once relieved, and learnt the following particulars from him and from the orderly who remained with Hodson, and who had been by his side when hit. He had arrived at Banks's House just as the party going to attack the Begum's Palace were starting, and fell in with them. The place had been taken before he was wounded. When the soldiers were searching for concealed Sepoys in the court-yard and buildings adjoining, he said to his orderly, 'I wonder if any of the rascals are in there.' He turned the angle of the passage; looked into a dark room, which was full of Sepoys; a shot was fired from inside. He staggered back some paces and then fell. A party of Highlanders, hearing who had been hit, rushed into the room and bayoneted every man there.
"The orderly, a large powerful Sikh, carried him in his arms out of danger, and got a dooly and brought him back to Banks's House, where his wound was looked to and dressed.