Jack Straw: A Farce in Three Acts

by W. Somerset Maugham

Ethel.

Me?

Mrs. Parker-Jennings.

I don’t know if I’m standing on my ’ead or my ’eels.

Jack Straw.

Then nothing remains but for me to make my declaration in due form. Mrs. Jennings, I have my grandfather’s permission to ask you for your daughter’s hand in marriage.

Mrs. Parker-Jennings.

[Breaking out.] But the man’s an impostor. He’s no more the Archduke Sebastian than I am.

Mrs. Withers.

What do you mean?