Mrs. Dot: A Farce

by W. Somerset Maugham

My dear boy, I’m not keeping you from spending an idyllic afternoon with Nellie. You’ve forced this conversation upon me. I assure you it’s most distasteful.

Gerald.

If I had married you, I should certainly have beaten you with a big stick.

Mrs. Dot.

What do you think is my chief characteristic?

Gerald.

That’s a question I can answer. The most confounded and aggravating unreasonableness that I ever saw.

Mrs. Dot.

Nonsense. It’s obvious that my chief characteristic is a sweet and yielding nature. But as there’s no likelihood of our agreeing on that, what do you think is the second?

Gerald.