Mrs. Dot: A Farce

by W. Somerset Maugham

Mrs. Dot.

I suppose if I were a thoroughly tactful person I should now ring for my carriage?

Gerald.

I daresay you would ask me to ring for it.

Mrs. Dot.

Well, I shall neither do the one nor the other. In the first place your answers are all nonsense and in the second I want to know who’s coming? If it’s some one I know, I shall stop and say, How d’you do, and if it isn’t I want to see what it’s like.

Gerald.

I suppose you know I’m perfectly capable of turning you out by main force.

Mrs. Dot.

If you touch me I shall scream.