Penelope: A Comedy in Three Acts

by W. Somerset Maugham

My dear mother, it’s the simplest thing in the world. You spend your life in converting the heathen—from a distance—and I knew if I mentioned the Central African Mission you’d fly here on the wings of the wind.

Mrs. Golightly.

In point of fact I came in an omnibus. But do you mean to tell me that there has been no scandal in connection with the Central African Mission?

Penelope.

[Smiling.] I’m dreadfully sorry to disappoint you, mother.

Golightly.

And what in heaven’s name made you wire decimal 7035 to me?

Penelope.

Oh, that’s our telephone number, and I just put decimal instead of Gerrard.

Golightly.