Penelope: A Comedy in Three Acts

by W. Somerset Maugham

During the last five years I’ve seen you adding two and two together and making them about seventy-nine.

Mrs. Golightly.

I don’t know what you’re talking about, Charles. Dickie’s behaviour is abominable, and there are no excuses for him. It’s a mere matter of common morality.

Golightly.

My dear, I have no objection to you talking common morality if you’ll let me talk common sense.

Mrs. Golightly.

My dear Charles, they’re the same thing.

Penelope.

If you think you can make me forgive Dickie by telling me that you were a wicked old thing yourself in your youth, I may as well tell you at once that it won’t wash.

Mrs. Golightly.