And do you suppose I've not suffered? Because I don't whine my misery to all and sundry, d'you think I don't care? I'm not the man to fall in and out of love with every pretty face I meet. All my life I've kept an ideal before my eyes. Oh, you don't know what it meant to me to fall in love. I felt that I had lived all my life in a prison, and at last Lucy came and took me by the hand and led me out. And for the first time I breathed the free air of heaven. Oh God! how I've suffered for it! Why should it have come to me? Oh, if you knew my agony and the torture!
[He hides his face, trying to master his emotion.
Mrs. Crowley goes to him and puts her
hand on his shoulder.
Mrs. Crowley.
Mr. Mackenzie.
Alec.
[Springing up.] Go away. Don't look at me. How can you stand there and watch my weakness? Oh God, give me strength.... My love was the last human weakness I had. It was right that I should drink that bitter cup. And I've drunk its very dregs. I should have known that I wasn't meant for happiness and a life of ease. I have other work to do in the world. And now that I have overcome this last temptation, I am ready to do it.
Mrs. Crowley.
But haven't you any pity for yourself, haven't you any thought for Lucy?
Alec.
Must I tell you, too, that everything I did was for Lucy's sake? And still I love her with all my heart and soul....