“‘Why don’t you leave ’im alone, Bill?’ ses Henery White; ‘you can see the man is worried because the baby can’t talk.’
“‘Oh,’ ses Bill, ‘I thought ’e was worried because ’is wife could.’
“All the chaps, except Job, that is, laughed at that; but Job ’e got up and punched the table, and asked whether there was anybody as would like to go outside with him for five minutes. Then ’e sat down agin, and said ’ard things agin the drink, which ’ad made ’im the larfing-stock of all the fools in Claybury.
“‘I’m going to give it up, Smith,’ he ses.
“‘Yes, I know you are,’ ses Smith.
“‘If I could on’y lose the taste of it for a time I could give it up,’ ses Job, wiping ’is mouth, ‘and to prove I’m in earnest I’ll give five pounds to anybody as’ll prevent me tasting intoxicating licker for a month.’
“‘You may as well save your breath to bid people “good-night” with, Job,’ ses Bill Chambers; ‘you wouldn’t pay up if anybody did keep you off it.’
“Job swore honour bright he would, but nobody believed ’im, and at last he called for pen and ink and wrote it all down on a sheet o’ paper and signed it, and then he got two other chaps to sign it as witnesses.
“Bill Chambers wasn’t satisfied then. He pointed out that earning the five pounds, and then getting it out o’ Job Brown arterwards, was two such entirely different things that there was no likeness between ’em at all. Then Job Brown got so mad ’e didn’t know wot ’e was doing, and ’e ’anded over five pounds to Smith the landlord and wrote on the paper that he was to give it to anybody who should earn it, without consulting ’im at all. Even Bill couldn’t think of anything to say agin that, but he made a point of biting all the sovereigns.
“There was quite a excitement for a few days. Henery White ’e got a ’eadache with thinking, and Joe Gubbins, ’e got a ’eadache for drinking Job Brown’s beer agin. There was all sorts o’ wild ways mentioned to earn that five pounds, but they didn’t come to anything.