“It couldn't be him,” said Mr. Culpepper, “because I won't have 'im in the house. I've told him so; I've told her so, and I've told 'er aunt so. And if she marries without my leave afore she's thirty she loses the seven hundred pounds 'er father left her. You've got plenty of time—ten years.”
Mr. Sharp, sitting with his hands between his knees, gazed despondently at the floor. “There's a lot o' girls would jump at me,” he remarked. “I've only got to hold up my little finger and they'd jump.”
“That's because they've got sense,” said Mr. Culpepper. “They've got the sense to prefer steadiness and humdrumness to good looks and dash. A young fellow like you earning thirty-two-and-six a week can do without good looks, and if I've told Florrie so once I have told her fifty times.”
“Looks are a matter of taste,” said Mr. Sharp, morosely. “Some of them girls I was speaking about just now—”
“Yes, yes,” said Mr. Culpepper, hastily. “Now, look here; you go on a different tack. Take a glass of ale like a man or a couple o' glasses; smoke a cigarette or a pipe. Be like other young men. Cut a dash, and don't be a namby-pamby. After you're married you can be as miserable as you like.”
Mr. Sharp, after a somewhat lengthy interval, thanked him.
“It's my birthday next Wednesday,” continued Mr. Culpepper, regarding him benevolently; “come round about seven, and I'll ask you to stay to supper. That'll give you a chance. Anybody's allowed to step a bit over the mark on birthdays, and you might take a glass or two and make a speech, and be so happy and bright that they'd 'ardly know you. If you want an excuse for calling, you could bring me a box of cigars for my birthday.”
“Or come in to wish you 'Many Happy Returns of the Day,'” said the thrifty Mr. Sharp.
“And don't forget to get above yourself,” said Mr. Culpepper, regarding him sternly; “in a gentlemanly way, of course. Have as many glasses as you like—there's no stint about me.”
“If it ever comes off,” said Mr. Sharp, rising—“if I get her through you, you shan't have reason to repent it. I'll look after that.”