Harvard Stories: Sketches of the Undergraduate

by Waldron Kintzing Post

"At last I took in at a glance all the grand possibilities of the scheme. I remembered that Joe Sheffield was very particular about his appearance, and was dressed up to the hilt. He was always sensitive about his clothes. I fell upon Dick's neck and wept tears of gratitude. Then we went back to the rest of the party. Sheffield had had a monopoly the whole afternoon."

"A corner in Paradise?" suggested Burleigh.

"Exactly," said Hudson, "or perhaps Paradise in a corner. They didn't turn up until we had shouted for ten minutes and the party had all started down the mountain. I ranged up alongside of the pair, thereby breaking up the Paradise trust, and we three brought up the rear. When we got to the point in the path, just above the prepared rock, I called attention to the flowers, with great art. Of course she said: 'Oh, how perfectly lovely! Oh, I must have some of those!' and of course away we both jumped. I let Sheffield get a little ahead and then went carefully around the rock. He bounded gallantly down the face of it until he struck the butter. Then he sat down with a dull, sickening thud;—but he didn't stop there. He glided merrily on, over the blackberry vine, and in among the seductive flowers. He sat still for a minute, and I knew the situation had dawned on him with all its hideous uncertainties. Then he turned himself round, face to the path, and got up carefully and slowly, with a sort of sideways motion. He didn't attempt to pick any flowers. There was a great deal of sympathy expressed above, and inquiries as to whether he was hurt. Meantime I had arrived safely, picked the whole cluster of flowers, and brought them back in triumph. Sheffield followed me up, and when we moved on, he dropped in behind; he acknowledged the path was too narrow for three.

"On arriving at the foot of the mountain, he leaned up against a big tree, while the buckboards were being manned. The poor girl seemed to be very much worried about him; unnecessarily so, I thought. He assured her that he was not in the least hurt, but he stuck to the tree nevertheless. There was a bird's nest up in the tree, and I heard Dick ask Sheffield to climb up and see if there were any eggs in it, to oblige the ladies. I helped the girl into the backboard and climbed in beside her. After every one else had got aboard, the last seat, with Dick, was good enough for Sheffield. I ran the Paradise industry, without competition, all the way home. There seemed to be a certain hitch in it, however, for she kept wondering whether Sheffield was hurt. The bunch of wild flowers dropped out on the way, and Dick and I both jumped out and chased it; Sheffield didn't even turn around to see what had fallen. I slapped Dick on the back as we were picking up the flowers and said: 'She must have an opinion of his manners.' Great Scott! that was all I knew about it!"

Here Stoughton went through the hugging pantomime for the fourteenth time.

"She didn't seem to be very grateful when I brought those flowers back, and wouldn't talk much all the way home. She said she was sure Sheffield was hurt, and all on her account. When we arrived she asked him to dinner. He stayed in the buckboard and drove to his hotel to dress. She didn't ask me to dinner, and, by Jove, she left those flowers over which I had taken so much trouble in the buckboard! I was very grateful to the flowers, nevertheless."

"Well, I don't see where the joke on you comes in," said Holworthy, as Hudson paused.

"Neither did I," answered Hudson. "I thought, in fact, that I had been pretty clever about the whole affair, until—until," he went on, gathering force by the repetition, "until the engagement was announced! By Jove!" hurling his cigar butt into the fireplace as the recollection grew on him, "that man and that girl had been engaged all summer; for a week I had been playing smart Alec and steady number three, making her hate the sight of me, while the Yale man was undoubtedly all the time laughing in his sleeve at seeing me make a fool of myself."

"Go on," commanded the relentless Stoughton. "Go on, there is an epilogue,—or do you want me to tell it?"

"No, I'll do the whole thing," said Hudson, humbly. "When Dick and I went round to call after the announcement, and congratulate Sheffield, my little friend Freddy came running into the room. 'Oh, Mr. Hudson,' he shouted, 'isn't it fun! Now we know why Nell got so mad about my bothering Joe. Joe's very nice, but really I would rather have had you, and I told her so.'"