“Hon. Strunsky, Irish salooner, who say he has been to all parts of Africa & Indiana.”
“Read it, please,” say Sydney Katsu, Jr., who are oftenly polite because he are not related to Uncle Nichi.
So Uncle Nichi with jay spectacles read following deceptive list of brutal beasts to be shot from foliage of Africa by persons what sees them:
Piebrock—a six-legged steer what subsist on malt beveridges which he take through a straw because he have no teeth. He pulls corks with a horn which grows from the back of his neck. He can be easily told from a fagdoo because he are a different animal. He are fond of distinguished visitors and enjoys Washington gossip when entirely pure; but he are seriously dangerous when bored. When pursued he swallows his feet-prints, thus concealing his identity. Scarce during Presidential Years.
Yelk—a species of pantomome, full of delicious flavours, but awful hostile when killed. You can easily tell him from other kinds of horse because he have a head on both ends, so he appear to be approaching when backing off. He often lead hunters to doom by his kind expression.
Ook—same as a yelk with smooth corners.
Hawbuck—this are the only kind of cow that sleeps in trees. He are a very economickal mammal. When hungry he lays a dozen eggs and eats them. Hunters is warned not to shoot this brute in the eyes, because he ain’t got any and enjoys great rages when reminded of it. To kill him, tickle him in soles of feet so he will get mad & spit out his heart. His habits are valvular & conjunctive. He is just as apt to be found in Africa as anywhere else.
Tum-tum—a very small camel used by natives to hunt rats. He do this by——
“Kindly cut-out!” dib Nogi for shocked expression, “if Hon. Roosevelt should heard you he would place your photo in his Roguish Gallery and you would be celled in Liars’ Row until called for.”
“Would it not be graceful act for mail this list to Hon. Loeb?” say Unc with second-child expression. “Hon. Roosevelt might avoid such callackerous beasts if he knew about them.”