XVII
THE HON. GASOLENE
San Francisco, July 5th.
To Editor New York Newspaper, celebrated for its Nationality and nice printing.
Dear Sir—What say Hon. Galileo when enjoying execution by ax? He say, “This World do move!” Then neck-chop ensue to interrupt that great thought at wind-pipe. If Japanese Boy was there he would enquire to know, “What do move this World, please?” Answer for this reply is: “Hon. Gasolene do!”
One quaint American proverb say, “Where there is Smoke there is Blazes.” This is especially truthful about Pittsburgh. Yet how much more proverbial it would be to say it, “Where there is Smell there is Speed.” I know because!
Mr. Editor, I do not possess of my ownership any automobiles, but my cousin Nogi gave me acquaintance to Hon. G. W. Yosho, celebrated coachman for all tour-cars. This Yosho wear rubber uniform of Japanese Field Marshal. He appear to look like Marquis Oyama, but is much more important about it. I reverence him because he have killed several Americans and some Christians.
“Hon. Yosho,” I collapse with Japanese salute, “nobody not yet have invited me to ride in one.”
“Maybe so it might,” he subdivide with forgetful expression.
“Do automobiles make persons civilized?” I require for answer.