“Tell me entire story of the game,” I collapse patiently.
“It was in second Inn,” debat Nogi for Jack London expression. “Score were then 12 to minus in flavour of the Japanese. Hon. Pitch for Old Soldiers were Capt. Hirum Jones, oldly hero who lost right arm in battle of Shylock.”
“How can a hero be a baseball Pitch when he lost his arm?” are my earnest enquire.
“His left arm were still entirely there,” dib Nogi. “With this he make some very gentle throws. I am next to go batt. I stand uply with brave expression & when Hon. Ball come soring to me I make fierce knock. Ball go to heaven with loud report. (Maddy banzai from Uncle Nichi who was there to fan it.) I make 4 entire home-runnings before them Hon. Vets could find Ball which was roosting in a tree. Then I am put entirely out & Hon. Vets enjoy a Inn.”
Nogi make trajick puff with cigar.
“Hon. Jeremiah Willkins, a sweet soldier who lost 2 legs in Battle of Bully Run, next go batt. He were a very nice knocker, so when he hit ball for high sore he attempt to approach 2d Bass, but are deliciously slow, thank you, because of footlus condition. W. Furo grabb ball quickly & Hon. Umperor yall ‘Out, please!’ When Uncle Nichi hear this he cry for sorrow, ‘O! not to do! what brutal Umperor to put oldy man outside because he lost 2 legs!’ Intense sensations for all Japanese present. S. Wanda, Japanese socialist, approach Hon. Willkins with polite hat. ‘Hon. Sir,’ he say-so, ‘permit me for hellup you make home-run,’ So Wanda, assisted by Bunkio Saguchi & Sydney Katsu, Jr., give helluping aid to Hon. Willkins for 5 home-runs, when he say he are tired so he set down.
“After that,” say Nogi, “it were a very pleasant outing for them Hon. Vets. Eech Old Soldier what go batt are some kind of a delicious cripple & other hon. wounds, so we must also aid him to enjoy several home-runs.”
“How long this loving attention go on?” I ask to know.
“Bye-bye darkness fall & dinner-bell from Elderly Hero Establishment announce quit-time for all. So handclasp were enjoyed with 3-cheer ceremony & we go ferry-boat.”
“103 runs were a hard afternoon for such oldy mans,” I snuggest.