“Hon. Smith are most smartest man in Colledge,” say Hon. Professor with surprise for ignorance.
“Ah!” I collide. “So thankful to see such a leader of thought! By what branches of brain do he most exsel in these classick hallways of Mrs. Minerva?”
“He are a hundred yard dasher of 9 seconds, he are a pole-jump of 12 feet, for 2 years he play short-stop on feetball game and can throw a spitting baseball in circles around all batty athletes.”
“He must be a very high educated man,” I combust; “I bet your bootware that Hon. Shakespeare could not do nothing like that.”
“Hon. Shakespeare was neglected in childhood,” say Prof. “So he never go to colledge to learn how.”
“So sorry for that!” I ratify. “Do this Hon. Smith have very muscular mind for study of Grecian poetry?”
“Scarcely if seldom,” mitigate Hon. Prof. “Faculty of this Colledge do not believe in making bright mind of youth sad by too much read on subjecks of solum & trajick Greek poetries.”
“They should read Hon. Aristophanes,” I say-so, “for he was considered a very comick Greek poet.”
“Maybe-so he were,” dib them Prof. “But I have been teacher of classick literature for 35 tiresome years, and never yet have I saw any colledge boys tickling themselves to death with jokes from that Hon. Aristophanes.”