“Assuredly you have,” say Hon. President, “but you should wear it higher so that it would show to better advantage.”
“How to begin to be a National Athlete?” say Hon. Wm.
“I began by breaking horses,” say Hon. Theo.
“I can easily break the stoutest horse by setting on him,” abrogate Hon. Taft.
“I am disgusted by such a set-pat policy,” say ruler of nation. “If you can not take exercise you can at least play Golluf.”
So Hon. Roosevelt loand Hon. Taft a big club if he promise not to broke it & he find a nice, green link near Light House at Washington where he practise Hon. Golluf Game. On door of Sec. of War it are now a easy snap to find following card:
HON. WM. H. TAFT
ARE ABSENT ON LINK TO PLAY GOLLUF GAME FROM 2 TO 4
DAILY TILL AFTER ELECTION.
MOVING PICTURE MAN
IS CORDIALLY INVITED TO BE THERE
Mr. Editor, what are most principally shocky & surprise to me about outside exercises enjoyed by Americans is that they takes them in such a light & frivlus spirit of josher. Are game of health-bring and deep breathing merely a funny laugh-at thing? Answer is, No!!
It sadden my pulse to see American family by good elderly summertime pack trunk to go shore-side. Why they sing & whistle comick song about “I am timid to return home in darkness”? Why so happy & frolick for as they are gone down to train? Do they not know that they are sujurning away for benefit of kidney, liver & lung, which is hyjean & therefore kind of sacred because it can do a great deal of harm to all human races? By border of ocean they go to some light hotel & dip slightly in tidy serf of sea, they lole upon sand in delighted clothing, they puff cigarette, they drink intoxicated ginriksha. By moontime they practise whatever flirting is necessary—no thoughts of their scientifick insides.