Pretty soonly Evening Bagpipe come out. On back page is grand editorial of magnificent tipe of title “How We Despise that Nobility!” To prove them contempt of nobility, Evening Bagpipe print live-size portrait on front page showing Hon. de Chagrin being draped in automobile with America & French flags by Cupid & mothology ladies. By each ½ hour Evening Bagpipe arrive with extra edition to tell what might be next, as follows:
10 o’clock extra!—Prince de Chagrin took elevator to wine-room and say, “Make it two!” This is an almost proof that he is engaged.
10:30 double extra!!—Royal Prince de Chagrin was saw looking at palace of Hon. J. W. Moneywortz this morning with matrimonial expression.
11 o’clock pink extra!!!—His Highness, Prince de Chagrin, shook hands with Senator Johnson with democratick laugh. Hon. Senator, with great presence of mind, said, “My daughter is already married.”
11:30 double pink sporting extra!!!!—His Royal Highness, Prince de Chagrin, stopped at Seidlitz Gallery and looked 1½ minutes at photo of famous chorus-girl. Thrilling story of this lady’s life (if she got one) will appear in 3 color for Sunday extra supplement with souvenir toy baloons.
12 o’clock green international suicide extra!!!!!—His Majesty, Prince de Chagrin, have disappeared. Nobody else is missing—what to tell?
13 o’clock extra, extra, extra!!!!!!—Hon. Emperor de Chagrin traced 5 miles on road to Chicago by broken kodaks. Maybe it was someone else.
By lamplight yesterday I attend one Hon. Lecture at Socialist Hall.
“Time will came, and soonly,” say Hon. Lecture “when working man of America will got everything he want.”
“Will he got a foreign title for self & family?” I enquire with voice.