“‘If Taft are elected America will quit. Common People will be scrunched by drowntroddery. Truth will also receive hourly chops by ax. Kings will appear everywheres riding in automobiles. Daily excursions to Siberia will be enjoyed by masses. Groans. Right of free speeches will be denied to Henry Watterson & bloodshed must therefore ensue. Patriots will grunt with deranged hair. Election of Hon. Taft should be cause of great national mourning,’”
“So sad!” say Arthur, “America must therefore go to complete doggly smitthrine on date of Nov. 3.”
“Are they no way to escape this?” I alarm with face.
“Only one,” commute Arthur. “Perhapsly Bluejean V. Debs might be elected by mistake.”
Mr. Editor, I go way from Arthur full of damp thoughts about Election Day. I go to grassy yard of Mrs. Lusy Macdonald, 286 pounds complete gentleness, and there I work my job assisting shrubbage to grow for $1.25 weekly payment. My dog O-Fido company me there & are entirely useless, as usual. While I are to work soothing her lawn with rakes I are continually thinking for selfish brain: “If I merely had 1 day lie-off from work I might do something to save America.” So I wish I could & O-Fido agree with snubbed tail.
Soonly come Mrs. Lusy Macdonald in dainty pink rapper which look like 3 queens. Angelick expressions for her.
“Togo,” she say-it, “have you got a ill to look so languish?”
“O! sweethearted Mrs. Madam, I enjoy a brainache this morning, thank you,” are complain from me. “Could I not obtain a lie-off from Work, thanks so much, please?”
“Why so you require such a lie-off?” are burst from her.