American Ladies hear them compliments, Mr. Editor, with pompadours swole up with pride; but they are forgetful that what that Hon. Sublime said about them are true of every national Lady in the entire world—with the exception of the Ladies of Zeeweezi Land where it are the custom for them to cut off their noses to spite their husbands.
Hoping you can afford it, I am,
Yours truly,
Hashimura Togo.
XXXVI
FEETBALL FOR MOLLYCUDDLES
San Francisco, November 10th.
To Editor New York Newspaper which must give large Colledge Yall to see such great Yale-Harvard feetball combination when Hon. Roosevelt pushed Hon. Taft across line.
Hon. Mr.—I have discovered more yet. America are no sooner through making one Loud Noise than she are prepared to make another. Her screems for Spring occupy Baseballing; next come Presidential Election where every person are ready to banzai & make provoked hollers; soonly following this arrive Feetball when talented Colledge Ladds is glued together for chorus of howels & rores which you would not believe except when it happens. Then America gives Thanksgiving because they are glad it are all over; but so vainly to think! With immediate quickness arrive Happy New Years when the roof of Hon. Heaven are entirely shrieked away with steam whissles. After this who knows what?
“You have forgot to put in Fourth of July,” say Uncle Nichi.