I enjoy suspicious sensation, Mr. Editor. What make all-world persons so happy about New Year day arriving less? Because so. Persons say secretly in sinful brain-thoughts: “That last annual year were disappointing, thank you. It was good year when first made, but considerably decomposed by various gentlemans who was to blame. Hon. Roosevelt spoil this year with muddy feet-kicks, Hon. Rockefeller ruin it by robbery & prayer, Hon. Lawson make it sad with considerable foolish wisdom. This year may go chase itself, please, if convenient. By next New Year time we shall not enjoy so many curses. All world shall love itself and so on. Japanese shall join hands with Irish and population mix-up. Bankers, divorces, house-flies, and other grafts shall be prohibited by poisoning them. Therefore let us order another drunk.”
“Of what value is this New Year time to Japanese persons?” I compel of cousin Nogi when I call to borrow 10 cents, price of Japanese cigarettes.
“For this,” exaggerate Nogi, “because is.”
“Tell me to know, please how?” I exhibit.
“Togo,” cry Nogi, “New Year is for getting rid of sin. You have some expensive sin which you keep around—shampane, high-food, silk derby—New Year fine time to make swear-off of this.”
“I am ridiculous to laugh,” I commit, “what expensive sin I swear-off, please? I am enjoying too much poverty to be able not to get along without nothing which I haven’t not got, have I?”
“One expensive sin you have got which you might resolution to get away from,” magnify this Nogi, “you are educated to cigarette-smoking. Swear-off, please. Therefore I will not loaned you them 10c you ask for to have.”
Since these conversation I have not called to Nogi or Miss Furioki which he married himself to. Nogi has got one jiu-jitsu comeing to him.
However yet, if I am sinful, I shall make some fine resolutions to give up many things which I have not got. But before doing so I shall be thankful to supply for you following review of National Events which has happened to this kingdom for year 1908th: