S. Wanda—Japanese Socialist.

Whang So—China boy of sinful profile.

H. Sunigawa—Talented Japanese Spy.

Unknown Japanese—who call himself “Charley Smith” to get job in a bank.

Sorted persons, doctors & druggers, Bunkio Saguchi, riots, baseballers, frequent wise Professors, Hon. Niggers, delegates who walk for the unions, editors, Napoleon Bonyparte & his Brother Charley, Hon. Police & other famous Americans to include my dog O-Fido.

ILLUSTRATIONS

“Therefor I entertain him to beer-ceremony at saloon of Hon. Strunsky, Irish patriot”[Frontispiece]
PAGE
“‘Good morning, Mr. Emperor,’ say Hon. Ambassador”[58]
“‘Would they fit me perhaps?’ I ask for vanity”[72]
“‘Why all this yall about, unless of mania?’ I require to know from Hon. Police”[82]
“When Hon. Operator seen my telegraf he say: ‘What language is them wrote in?’”[100]
“‘But China!! such eye-pain of nations’”[102]
“O banzai! whirr of angry rages from engine”[110]
“Loyal Sons of some fairish land parading under banner of the Nice Old Party with placards to show how harmonious they feel”[120]
“There I meet Motor Man who ... suffocate me with international courtesy”[150]
“‘I have a developed chest already,’ snuggest Hon. Taft”[208]
“They should not make groups around him with scissors to cut away souvenirs from him”[224]
“‘I require to leave message for Cousin Charley at Washington’”[246]
“‘O! Sweethearted Mrs. Madam, I enjoy a brainache this morning, thank you’”[312]
“‘Do not hide your light under a bushel basket,’ are smart quotation for me”[326]
“‘All of them persons is related to each other in some way and another—some by proxy, some by regret’”[340]
“Obi Obi and the Willy Sparrow”[344]