I do so with difficulty.
“You go to them Germany with $17,500 annual wages which you draw in advance. You look around street for some nice palace where U. S. flag can be represented with dignity. You find such a palace, pretty soonly, over general feed store for rent-sum of $20 per monthly. For sum of $5 you can hire Mrs. Nusbaum in up-floor flat to take down clothes-line so that Hon. U. S. flag can be flew on Monday afternoon. Then you spend $17,000 for champagne and set down on back porch where flies are scarce.”
“Do something happen pretty suddenly?” I ask to know.
“Quite promptly I come along in one golden-coloured automobile, accompanied by Signal Corps, Fire Department, Royal Mounted Mustache Guard, and Second Artillery Band——”
“Who are you, please?” is next question for Japanese Schoolboy.
“I am Hon. Emperor of Germany calling to make a diplomatick relationship with Hon. American Ambassador. I call in them quiet way I mention because I know that Hon. Poverty of American Ambassador would get embarrassed by kingly pompus. I stop royal automobile in front of Nusbaum’s Feed Store.
“‘Are Hon. American Ambassador at home for diplomatick relationship?’ Hon. Emperor holler-up to second story.
“‘He are out back splitting kindling,’ decry Hon. Mrs. Nusbaum. ‘But I will told him that Your Majesty have arrive—wait, please!’
“So she run & whistle down speaking-tube: