Where do this Spring arrive from then, if not?
By newspaper print I read how it arrive from Paris, thank you!
Flower of Spring do not come to America by them poetical way I said. They are first noticed in New York by Hon. Custom Inspector who give American eye-wink when he see such many trunks of French extraction. He notice they are label “Handle by Care,” so he open them carefully with an axe. From each divided trunk come explosion of rare beaty. Violet-colour roses, rose-colour violets, blue-colour carnations, off-colour daisies, lilies-of-valley in red, white, & blue and sunflowers of 27 delicious varieties of sunset. That sad interior of Custom House, so oftenly accustomed to shady gloom of dark & dingley Tariff, grow suddenly to joyful fire-alarm by them race-riot of colour. All employees of them Custom House forget murdering thought of their cruel hearts and is instantly gentle by sight of such bouquets. They forget to do their duty on sliding scale. Their eyes is overdone for tear drop with sweetheart thought of childhood. Numberous sighs is enjoyed while looking to them flowers, all hats is removed and for one noment of time that Custom House forget to think of Eternal Revenue on cigars, the patness of Jo-uncle Cannon and welcome to America by the Uncivil Service. Such is influence of Nature on savage persons.
Then come Easter and I am not responsible for what happen. Hon. Solomon, who was legally accustomed to 100 wifes, was very suspicious about Spring when it come along from Paris, so he say with voice for all future layers of Husbands, “Consider the lilies how they cost!” When one Christian lady begin to consider the lilies in shop window it is important for Christian Husband to consider something else with absent-minded expression.
In Spring young American mind naturally turn to sport of baseballing. Japanese Boy have found out how-do to get there to place where them National Sport is done. Walk some distance to suburbs of trolley when, all of a suddenly, you will notice a sound. It is a very congregational lynch-law sound of numberous voices doing it all at once. Silence punctuates this. Then more of.
“Why all this yall about, unless of mania?” I require to know from Hon. Police.
“San Francisco is in it and Oakland is outside of it,” say Hon. Police with moustache. “San Francisco have made bat-hit and three gentlemans have arrive home.”
“So happy to welcome travellers!” I decry. “Have them gentlemans been long absent for such publick banzai?”
“All over bean-farm,” say Hon. Police. “They was all on bags,” he say, “and two mans had died on first basso——”
“I shall enjoy mourning for them heroes,” I retort.