XI
EDUCATION IN AMERICAN LANGUAGE
San Francisco, April 10th.
To Fashionable Creator of Newspaper Talk.
Dear Mr.—When first time your printer put-in my letter I am so happy I feel very discouraged to write more. “Banzai! I shall make literary career of myself!” This shout from me. Literary writing must be good job for all Americans not fit for honest work. I am understood to be told that Hon. Jack London receive for price from 15c to 20c for each word he make. This is so very easy way it appear deceptive. How should I prosper in such a Graft! At 20c for each word how happy for Japanese Boy! By early morning I should go to fashionable American restaurant and require of Waiter, “Hon. Sir., deliver to me 1 plate ham & 2 eggs, please!” This would be the number of 12 words @ 20c per word—therefore bringing me the price $2.40! Breakfast might cost 75c, Waiter might require 25c to tip himself, yet Waiter must still owe Japanese Boy $1.40, which is balance of $2.40 for them 12 words I said.
Immediately I became great Author in my brain-thoughts. I make running stampede to publick Library and read “12th Night,” by Shakespeare of England and “Friday the 13th” by Lawson of Boston, so as to learn both ends of the American language. I learn considerable extinct vocabulary from both of these gentlemen, then I set down with ink-stand to write 1 letter to you.
It is not equal to human justice, Mr. Editor, that you send me $4.34 in postage stamps as reply payment to this. What to do with these stamps? 217 2c postages require considerable correspondence to get away from. To waste these postages I have wrote following correspondence:
1. To New York Newspaper already 10 letters which you know of.
2. To Uncle Hashimura of Kobe, 6 letters of painful truth.
3. To Miss Alice Furioki, pleasant lady of yellow extraction, 13 letters on sweetheart subjects.