“Are it injurious for childhood to laugh at my thumbs?” I ask it.
“Many children are spoilt forever by too much laughter in infancy,” she explan. “I raise this child like I raise biscuits—by book. Volume entitled ‘How Do It to Grow Best Children’ tell me delicious nervus diseases what children will be entitled to if not careful. By feeding, exercise, etc., I intend to make this Babe great man for future.”
“Shall he be Presidential Candidate, perhapsly?” I require.
“No! he shall never have such brutal treatment!” she exclam. “Yet I are sure he shall be great because he has his grandfather’s eyes.”
I could not believe such youngly child could rob old gentleman of his eyesight. Yet I say nothing. “Have he got a name?” I require for chivalry.
“Several,” she report. “He are pronounced Alexander Applegate Leopold Bushel.”
“Bushel baskets have been filled with less,” I say punnishly. “That name surrounds him completely.”
“For shortness we call him Goo,” she say so. “Now I shall tell you his daily programme.” She take paper from table and read me following list of deeds intended for that Babyhood:
5:30 to 6 A. M. crying exercises enjoyed for development of lung.
6:15 sterilised milk programme with bottle.
7:30 Hon. Baby bathed in fluid offensive to mikrobes. Hon. Father then permitted to bring out scales and weigh Hon. Baby so to show he soon will be a Physical Perfection like Family.
8:10 A. M. ½ hour baby-talk conversation by his mother for development of brain.
8:40 slight perambulation in baby-cab continuing 2 hours. This trip must go through considerable streets and scenery, so Hon. Baby will get used to travel.
10:40 homeward arrival. More crying exercises enjoyed for benefit of lung.
11:30 continual sleep programme until entirely saturated with slumber.
Afternoon—same like morning programme, only more so.