Ere I vanish in steam, or get lost in the smoke.
Finally, considered as poetry, it is to be presumed that Walter Aimwell’s efforts did not approximate his own conceptions; and it is also probable that he never saw sufficient reason for his endeavoring to make them do so. It would have struck a mind like his, that the world stood in less need of songs of soft sorrow and pretty sighs of aspiration for a better condition of affairs, than it did of good, earnest living in the world as it is, and of those tangible achievements that he could better compass by other means. His humility was too genuine and his judgment too sound for him to believe himself capacitated for being called to any such duty as singing in that grand style which really moves hearts and moulds minds to deeds of greatness and glory. We shall see that, without leaving the round of his daily occupations, he found opportunities for congenial labor and constantly increasing usefulness. And thus his soul went through the world, a living prayer,—an incarnate psalm.
CHAPTER VII.
CONSCIENCE A DIVINER.
The following, written in the summer of 1840, explains itself and a great deal besides:—
“It ought to be the serious inquiry of every true disciple of Christ, ‘Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?’ or, in other words, ‘How shall I spend the present life?’ And it may be profitable to notice two ways in which I should spend mine.
“1. I must strive to become an eminent Christian. If I do this, I shall spend this life well, and I shall be happy, meet with what afflictions I may. I must not be a half-way Christian, but a thorough one. Neither must I be satisfied with my present attainments in piety, but press forward. I must strive to grow in grace every day; and if at night I look back and see no progress in divine things during the day, or if I can see that I have let Satan have any of the ground I have gained before, I must not be satisfied. I have found that just in proportion as I deny myself, and take up my cross and fight with my sins, I am happy. Thus has God wisely connected duty and happiness. Let me strive, then, every day to become more holy, to cast down every imagination and everything that exalteth itself in my heart, and thus become a tabernacle for the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.
“2. I must do good as well as be good; and I must labor to have those around me enjoy the same spiritual blessings that I do. It may never be my privilege to give myself to the heathen and labor for their conversion to God, though I sincerely wish it might; but there are other ways in which I can help to do the work. I can contribute of my substance to help the cause, and, by my influence and example, I may be the means of promoting Christ’s kingdom on earth. Besides, there are those in our own country, yea, in our own houses, whose situation is as bad as that of the heathen, on some accounts; for, though nominally Christians, they have not the love of God shed abroad in their hearts, and unless brought to repentance, they must meet a fate worse than that of the poor untutored savage who has never heard of the name of Jesus.
“There are ways in which I may glorify God on earth; and these are the best ways in which I can spend this life. If I persevere in thus spending it, and if I fight the good fight of faith, I shall have a crown of life laid up for me in heaven. What an encouragement is this! Even if this were taken away, it would be my duty thus to live, for it is what I owe to Christ. How much more, then, seeing that every encouragement is offered to me by God and Jesus Christ.
‘So live, that, sinking in thy last long sleep,