No one could reach me from the back, as I leant against the wall of the hut. Therefore I assumed a belligerent attitude from the first, demanding to know why all my boys had been taken. The old king was, luckily, still sober—it being early in the day—and very calm and dignified. When I had stated my demand he started. He said that his people had shown me elephant; that without them I could not have found them. He said his people had treated me well. They had offered me wives of my own choosing. Food I had never lacked. Elephant were still numerous in the bush. Why should I wish to desert them in this manner?
I admitted that all he had said was true, but begged to point out that I was not a black man. I could not live always there among them. White men died when they lived too long in hot countries, and so on. Then I pointed to the fact that I had never sold the meat of the elephant I had killed, although I might have done so and bought slaves and guns with it. I had given it all freely away to him among others; and now when I wanted to go they seized my porters.
Then he tried another line. He said I could go freely if I gave him my rifle. He said I could easily get another in my country.
I turned this down so emphatically that he switched to another line.
He said, when black men went to the coast they had to pay custom dues on everything they took to or brought away from it. As this was entirely a white man’s custom and yet they enforced it upon black men, putting them in prison if they did not pay, he would be obliged to make me pay customs on my ivory. He thought that if he and I divided it equally it would be a fair thing. At this I could not help laughing. The king smiled and everyone smiled. I suppose they thought I was going to pay.
But, I said, there is a difference between your country and white man’s country. When a traveller arrives at the gates of the white man’s country the very first thing he sees is a long building and on it the magic sign “Customs.” Now on seeing this sign the traveller knows what lies before him. If he objects to paying customs, or if he has not the money with which to pay, he departs without entering that country. But when the traveller reaches the gates of the king’s country, he looks in vain for “customs.” Therefore, he says to himself, what a very wise and good king rules this happy country. I will enter, for there is no “customs.” But if, having entered the country on this understanding, the king levies customs without having a Customs House, that traveller will recall what he said about the king and will depart, cursing that king and spreading his ill-fame so that no more travellers or elephant hunters will come near him. Therefore, I ended, the whole matter resolves itself into this: Have you a Customs House or have you not? Here I peered diligently about as if searching among the huts. The whole lot, king, court, escort and mob roared with laughter.
They were not done yet, though. The palaver ran its usual interminable length. The king accused me of disposing of the pigmy hippo meat in an illegal manner. Pigmy hippo were royal game, and every bit of it should have been sent to him. I had him again with the same gag as the customs one, i.e., that when he made a law he should write it down for everyone to read, or if he could not write he ought to employ some boy who could. And so on and on.
Wearied to exhaustion, I at length decided to try what a little bluff would do. I had hoped that I would not have to use it, but it was now or never. If it came off, and the porters were forthcoming, we could just make the next village, hostile to the king, before dark.
Suddenly seizing my rifle I covered the king. No one moved. The king took it very well, I must say. I said I was going to fight for my porters and begin on the king.
He said that to fight was a silly game. However well I shot, I could not kill more than ten of them before someone got me. I replied that that was so, but that no one knew if he would be among the ten or not.