JOHN. No, silly ass, it’s a natural bump. (Excited.) It’s all so simple. It’s wonderful how I get myself out of every difficulty. Now, will you run down to the doctor’s for me! (Going up to telephone.) The last block of flats, you know?
TULLY. Doctor Green?
JOHN (looking through Telephone Book for number). Yes! That’s it. Ask him to call at once.
TULLY. John! You’re not going to pretend to the doctor that you are ill?
JOHN. Now don’t ask any questions.
TULLY. Oh no, John! (Working fingers along back of arm-chair.) I couldn’t do a thing like that. It’s not fair—it’s not honest. (Protests in action against the suggestion until JOHN says “BERTRAM,” when a broad smile comes across his face.)
JOHN (rising and crossing to TULLY—pleadingly). Bertram! (Affectionately.) Bertram!!!
TULLY (giggles affectedly). Oh! John! (Crossing to door L.) Oh! John! (Giggles.) Oh! John! (Giggles till off door L. Quick exit.)
JOHN (goes to telephone. At ’phone). Give me Regent one—four—three—six quickly, Miss, please. . . . Yes. . . . Hullo! hullo! are you the Motor Omnibus Company? . . . Yes, yes. Mrs. John Ayers speaking! (Adopting a feminine voice.) Mrs. John Ayers. . . . Yes . . . my husband was in that terrible ’bus accident you had last Friday coming from Kew. Yes . . . my husband! And he’s very ill indeed. Yes . . . eh? (Dropping into his own voice.) Oh! speak up! I can’t hear a damned word you’re saying. (Hand over ’phone for a second—then resuming in feminine voice.) Oh! He didn’t notice it at the time. He has witnesses to prove everything. Eh? I can’t hear. . . . Oh, you’ll send your inspector round to look into it . . . eh? You’ll send your inspector round to look into it. Oh, very good, but don’t send him immediately as the patient is asleep. Eh? . . . yes, in about half an hour’s time . . . we’re quite close to your depot . . . we’re quite close to your depot . . . number 13 St. Mark’s Mansions. Yes—very well—thank you—Good-bye! (Puts up receiver. He looks round and takes off jacket. CHALMERS enters L.) What is it? What is it?