Just sit back and hold tight.
It's entitled "What a Difference When the Preacher Says You're Wed; or, I Wonder Why Mary Jones Married a Man Twice Her Age."
He has ceased to call her "darling,"
She has ceased to call him "dear";
He has ceased composing sonnets
To her "shell-like little ear."
She has ceased to hurry madly
To the mirror when he calls;
He has ceased to buy her chocolates
And ice cream at high-toned balls.
This is not because these lovers
Have been mixed up in a row—
No, the plain truth is that they
Are a married couple now.
That song always makes me sad.
It's founded upon one of my actual experiences.
I was a married man, once, though I may not look it.
One night I came home late and knocked at the door.