I went up the steps and into the office, where the hotel proprietor suavely greeted me, asked after my health, and inquired how my “estate” was getting on.
“You mean my farm,” said I.
He smiled politely, but not without a skepticism which annoyed me. I hastened from him, and left my manuscript with the stenographer, who had arrived for the summer.
“I’ll call for the copy to-morrow noon,” said I. Then I went to the telegraph booth and sent a day letter to Stella. “Buster sending me to thank you,” it read. “Meet me Hotel Belmont six to-morrow. Sold over a bushel of peas to-day. Prepare to celebrate.”
“Mike,” said I, returning to the cart, “drop me at the golf club. Tell Mrs. Pillig not to expect me to lunch.”
It was ten o’clock when we arrived at the entrance to the club. I jumped out and Mike drove on. The professional took my name, and promised to hand it to the proper authorities as a candidate. Then I paid the fee for the day, borrowed some clubs from him, and we set out. I had not touched a club since the winter set in. How good the driver felt in my hand! How sweetly the ball flew from the club (as the golf ball advertisements phrase it), on the first attempt! I sprang down the course in pursuit, elated to see that I had driven even with the pro. Alas! my second was not like unto it! His second spun neatly up on the green and came to rest. Mine went off my mashie like a cannon ball, and overshot into the road. My third went ten feet. But it was glorious. Why shouldn’t a farmer play golf? Why shouldn’t a golfer run a farm? Why shouldn’t either write stories? Heavens, what a lot of pleasant things there are to do in the world, I thought to myself, as I finally reached the green and sank my putt. Poor Stella, sweltering over a dictionary in New York! Soon she’d be here, too. She should learn to play golf, she should dig flower beds, she should wade in a brook. I flubbed my second drive.
“You’re taking your eye off,” said the pro.
“I’m taking my mind off,” said I. “Give me a stroke a hole from here, for double the price of the round, or quits?”
“You’re on,” said he.
I stung him, too! I felt so elated that I went back to the hotel for an elaborate luncheon, and returned for eighteen holes more. The feats a man can perform the first day after he has had no sleep are astonishing. The second day it is different. In fact, I began to get groggy about the tenth hole that afternoon, so that the pro. got back his losses, as in a burst of bravado I had offered to double the morning bet. He came back with an unholy 68 that afternoon, confound him! They always do when the bet is big enough, which is really why they are called professionals.